Definitive Ranking: Top 10 Worst Christmas Songs
As the Christmas season approaches, so does the annual tradition of festive music. However, not all holiday songs resonate positively with listeners. This article explores the definitive ranking of the top 10 worst Christmas songs, showcasing tunes that have elicited groans rather than holiday cheer.
Top 10 Worst Christmas Songs
10. NSYNC – ‘I Never Knew the Meaning of Christmas’
This 2000 hit redefines the Christmas spirit, focusing more on romance than the holiday itself. Justin Timberlake and his bandmates suggest that true meaning comes through finding a girlfriend, which feels out of touch with traditional Christmas themes.
9. Neil Diamond – ‘Cherry Cherry Christmas’
This song appears to stem from a commercial intent. The blending of catchy phrases from Neil Diamond’s catalog into a holiday theme does not work. While it may please some fans, it ultimately lacks substance.
8. The Killers – ‘Don’t Shoot Me Santa’
A jarring mix of humor and oddity characterizes this track. The dialogue between Brandon Flowers and Santa Claus raises eyebrows, making listeners question the band’s creative choices. The bizarre narrative may have aimed at satire but falls flat.
7. The Pussycat Dolls – ‘Santa Baby’
This rendition fails to recapture the charm of Eartha Kitt’s original version. Its attempt to be sensual ends up feeling lifeless and unenthusiastic, leaving listeners yearning for better interpretations.
6. Lou Monte – ‘Dominick the Donkey’
Lou Monte’s ode to an Italian Christmas donkey is peculiar at best. The repetitive and simplistic lyrics seem more gimmicky than festive, highlighting the song’s lack of creativity.
5. New Kids on the Block – ‘Funky Funky Xmas’
This attempt at a holiday anthem is riddled with nonsensical “ho ho ho” sounds and weak rap attempts. It clearly exists as a cash grab, failing to deliver any lasting holiday joy.
4. Jessica and Ashlee Simpson – ‘The Little Drummer Boy’
This duet aims for a classic feel but misses the mark. Their overly breathy vocal style clashes with the song’s straightforwardness, leading to a disappointing version of the traditional ballad.
3. NewSong – ‘The Christmas Shoes’
While intended to convey a touching message, this song fails to resonate. The story of a boy wanting to buy shoes for his terminally ill mother often feels overly sentimental and manipulative.
2. Elmo and Patsy – ‘Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer’
This novelty song, highlighting a tragic event with humor, borders on the cruel. The comedic approach to a sensitive topic results in a jarring listening experience.
1. Alvin and the Chipmunks – ‘The Chipmunk Song (Christmas Don’t Be Late)’
Arguably the most grating Christmas song, the high-pitched voices of Alvin and the Chipmunks have annoyed many listeners since its release. Its nomination for a Grammy may be the only highlight in an otherwise cringe-worthy musical offering.
While the Christmas season is meant for celebration and joy, these songs remind us that not all festive music captures the intended spirit. Instead, they often lead us to question what defines a truly great Christmas song.
